SARS SARS Go Away! My 3am Procrastination

Crystal Emmanuel
5 min readOct 22, 2020

This early morning I lay here in my bed before sleep, procrastinating about whether or not to post an #EndSars image with a caption on my Instagram. Not because I was unsure as to whether or not SARS should end. I am by no means unsure as to whether it should end, to free the people of Nigeria from this pointless, heartless, soulless clench a-hold of power, through shameful and gutless brutality on innocent people just trying to live their own lives. I am not unsure that this is yet another example of another group of thugs in uniforms, unleashed on a nation of people to keep them in their ‘place’ and to show them who’s ‘boss’. No, not at all. The idea of ending SARS being a complete necessity is a complete no-brainer to me. I’d happily post the image and caption without a second thought if I knew it would end it immediately.

So why do I hesitate you ask? I hesitate because it feel like I am about to post another black square on Instagram. For all the good that it did. If you get it…. Then you get it. I’m just so tired. We are all tired. When can we breathe again please? Who do we ask when no-one seems to have an answer or can even be seen to acknowledge the need for one?

The fact that posting an image gave me (and I’m sure so many others) a random sense of rising anxiety, buried neatly but not so deeply and that it required so much thought process and evoked so much emotion; coming directly from my soul and those of others when we went to post it — tells us exactly where we are at in 2020.

The rich over the poor, the powerful over the powerless, the rulers over the ruled, the masters over the slaves, the list goes on and the wheel of the cycle just keeps on turning. Who’s oil was stolen to be used as a weapon to grease the damn hinges of this big freaking wheel that never stops turning, this fat stomach of nausea that never stops churning?

Perception. Reality. Your title. My title. Your Level. My Level. Your Worth. My Worth. Wtf is actually going on?

The reality. You are not richer than me, we were both made equal, you just have more paper toys to play with than I do currently… but of course someone decided to tell the world that these paper toys have so much value that they can come before human life itself, these oh so powerful paper toys… and of course the world believed them. So here we are. F**ked.

The reality. You are not more powerful than I am at all, we were both made to be powerful… but of course someone decided to create a special ranking system and tell the world that a man or woman in their uniform can overpower and reign over a man or woman in their regular clothing and do as they wish with little to no repercussions… and of course the world believed it. So here we are again. F**ked

The reality. You are not my ruler and you are most certainly not my master. I am the ruler of my own destiny and I have no master above me but the creator and that is certainly not you, he/she is in fact within me… but of course someone decided to create a school system that we all have to go through (one example of many), where we have a “Head Master” that everyone reports to, and I mean everyone, from the students to the teachers and even our parents (who are supposed to at the very least introduce us to our inherent power by the way). Yes, we go through these systems having to see them, our parents, also reporting to these appointed head masters whenever summoned to explain themselves and to explain us. So of course the world believed it and took onboard the whole system and its ways daily, for the rest of a lifetime. So here we are again. F**ked

When will we see change? The Bigger question…How can change come about?

The perceived reality comes across to me as bleak. It makes zero sense at all if you know logic. 99% of the world is said to be poorer, less powerful and way less fortunate than a 1% of people who are described as the “elite” who own everything and it’s grandmother. Everywhere you go in the world you’ll find millions of people listening, worshipping and obeying one tiny, usually quite ridiculous ‘ruler’ and doing all that he (rarely she) says must be done. All this defying the very logic of the fact that there are millions of them being ruled by one mere human and a few advisers! Millions die of hunger worldwide daily, while selfish ‘greedies’ literally and metaphorically dribble over a series of feasts that could feed them all for a lifetime, in an instant, even throwing out what they can’t eat or giving it to their dog. Everywhere we see piss poor morals and stinking standards from those who are apparently ‘high ranking’ members of our society. Yet we are the said ‘poor’ ones. What a label.

You are made to feel inferior at every turn, whether it be work or social media… but inferior to what, an idea? Perception. Reality. Stay with me.

It’s all sickening nonsense. People are being savagely murdered for nonsense. Battered and Beaten for nonsense. Unfairly treated for nonsense. Brutality challenged for nonsense. Starving to death for nonsense. Losing mum’s, dad’s, sons, daughters, brother and sisters for nonsense.

When will we see change? The Bigger question…How can change come about?

If you came to my article for some answers I have none. Sorry. I told you in the title that this is merely a 3am procrastination. I am only me. I needed to write what I am tired of speaking. Release what I am tired of keeping. I’m just poised here over the share button on my Instagram, feeling helpless, totally hopeless but insufferably optimistic as I press the “Share” button on my Instagram with a dash of hope for my people, our people, one people. #EndSars #2020 #WhatAYear

Written By Crystal Emmanuel

3:30am on 22nd October 2020

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